Colline's story
The Only Way Out
The problem? She cancels on me constantly, sometimes at the last minute. Yes, everyone has something come up occasionally and has to cancel. I've done it myself, but I try very hard to keep commitments.
I have a friend I care a great deal about. We've been friends for about 15 years and know each other like sisters. I know she loves me, too, and likes to spend time with me. We always have a good time when we are together. Our birthdays are one day apart and we used to celebrate together every year, which I really looked forward to.


Granted, she is busier than I with a high-pressure job - she even has to travel with this job, plus family obligations. I get it. But she cancels, reschedules and then cancels again! Almost every single time. We now live about an hour's drive apart. I always drive to her area because she is so busy. I don't mind. We haven't had our birthday celebration together in several years because she cancelled. She always has good excuses.


"I've come to realize that the only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer but myself."
This has happened so often over the years, it has hurt me very much. She has apologized and said she would do better, but it never lasted. I have talked to her about it to no avail. I've gone long periods without contacting her, but I've always given in and tried to get together again just to have her cancel and reschedule. It has been more than two years since we have seen each other. We have stayed in touch by text and social media, but it is not the same.


The last straw was her canceling on our birthday last year after not seeing each other in a year or so. I threw in the towel and vowed to never contact her again, certainly not schedule anything. I told her if she wanted to see me she would have to drive to my house. I was not making plans to drive an hour to see her and then have her cancel on me again. She has stayed in touch on social media, but I don't initiate any conversation. This has been a friendship deal breaker. I am not giving in this time. It is too painful. If she wants to see me she'll have to come to me. Over the years, I've made the effort and gone the extra mile - literally, but no longer. I have a life, too, and don't have time for people who don't make time for me.


It is very sad to have a great friendship end like this, but like any relationship, friendship requires nurturing. It takes two people to make any relationship work no matter how much you care for someone. Good friends are hard to come by these days. Throwing one away for silly reasons is heartbreaking. I miss my friend
"True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient, it's about being there when it's not."
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