Ending friendship
15 experts share advice on how to cope with ending a friendship
Ending a friendship is one of the most difficult things that you will have to do, but sometimes it has to be done. There are times in life when keeping your friend around can do more harm than good.
Each and every single one of us knows that ending a friendship, like any other relationship, it's easier said than done. In this post we want to shed some light on how to cope with friendship break up and come out stronger on the other side.

We'll share thoughts from 5 experts on ending friendships:
1. How to Recover When a Friendship Ends - Linda Smith

It's taken me a while, but I am changing my perspective on friendships that have run their course. I'm realizing that it's these sacred relationships that have undoubtedly made me who I am. Their ending isn't something to mourn, but a harbinger of a new chapter in my life.

2. When your friends let you down - Ruth Soukup

In order to have a friend, we must BE a friend, and ultimately that means showing grace when our friends don't come through the way we want them to. It means forgiving when necessary, looking for the good instead of the bad, and treating them the way we'd like to be treated, the way we've already been treated.

3. How to End a Friendship - Arlin Cuncic

Know that a friend should never ask you to compromise your integrity, go against your values or commitments, tell a lie, or hurt someone by doing something. Although it may feel like a significant loss to lose a friend, someone who no longer is making your life better does not deserve that space in your life.
4. Not All Friendships Are Meant to Last - Vanessa Goh

Loving Yourself is more important than holding on to toxic relationship. You deserve more than that. Letting go is not a sign of failure, neither is a sign of selfishness. If someone is meant to stay, they will move heaven and earth to find a way. In fact, is perfectly okay to let go when the times come.
5. How to End a Friendship Gracefully - CH Care

Don't get mutual friends involved. As with the Substitute, it can be okay to get some advice from a mutual friend, but do not drag them into it. They aren't there to act your relationship out for you. So, it sis going to be just up to you. That doesn't mean you can't seek out help or support though....
6. Why Friendships End and How to Cope - Laura Izett-Irwin

I might as well put the obvious out there: Friendships hurt when they end. The sooner you can identify the end, the sooner time has to heal the hurt.

The end of a friendship is a great time to be honest with yourself. Use this time to reflect. Whoever ended it, or however it ended is a sign that you and/or your life have changed in some ways. There are times when this is a great thing.
7. How to deal with the end of a friendship - Thea Easterby

You can't make someone be your friend, just like you can't make someone love you.

What you can do is focus on the wonderful friends and people you do have in your life. Focus on the ones still there, not on the one who walked away.

8. Friendship Breakups: How to heal and move on - Nakia Austin

It's easy to blame others for a failed friendship. Maybe you feel that your ex-friend didn't communicate well enough or was not fully honest with you. No matter how things went down, avoid playing the blame game.

Look at the situation from an objective third party and see how each side may have played a part in the friendship's demise.

9. Friendship Change: Growing more Comfortable with Endings - Shasta Nelson

But the truth is that our friendships have to change; and by definition, when you have a change, it means there is an ending to one thing and the beginning of something new.

And sometimes there is a gap between that ending and that new beginning which can feel like a friendship fatality; and sometimes the new beginning doesn't feel as satisfying right away so there's an element of loss and grief that accompanies the change.
10. What to do when your Friendship is Over - Margaret Rutherford

Get off the Internet! Refrain from social media right after the end of a friendship.

It's quite tempting, if not downright seductive, to watch your ex-friend from the safety of Facebook or Instagram. And if they've unfriended you, you can obsess, play detective, and figure out how to see their page through mutual friends.
11. Ways To End A Friendship - Chris Macleod

The fade out approach

This is when you gradually phase the person out of your life. It involves becoming less and less available, because you're often "busy". If you usually hang out with them in a group, you act polite, but give them less and less individual attention...
12. How to End a Friendship Without Confrontation - Elise Wile

Avoid attending activities with mutual friends until the friendship has been over for a few months. This will give you both a chance to breathe and get over any lingering animosity. You needn't be a hermit, but you might consider getting together with individual friends so the two of you aren't thrown into a social situation together when you are trying to end the friendship and recover from your loss.
14. Why it's Okay to End a Friendship - Elizabeth Bruke

Are they a giver or a taker? In any relationship, a major source of conflict is when one person is more of a giver and the other, a taker. When you feel like you make an effort, you're always there for this person, and you go above and beyond, it's frustrating when they don't reciprocate. This is something to bring up to your friend and not necessarily end the friendship on the spot. But this internal conflict can build up resent over time and it's better to talk things out before it's too late.
15. Ending A Friendship Is Perfectly OK — It Means You're Growing - Kelly Rudolph

From that experience in my 20s, I learned that it's healthier and much less stressful to be alone for awhile rather than choosing the wrong friends out of desperation.

Back then I lacked the necessary confidence in myself to feel comfortable alone or to go places by myself. Now, I find it refreshing and I'm grateful for all of the female friendships that have guided and supported me along my path to loving myself and my life.

Final thoughts - Our take

Often, you may feel that your friends are not as close as they used to be. You may wonder if you should change something about yourself to bring your friends closer. Here, the answer is simple: you should be your own person, regardless of who you call your friend.

The only thing we know is that it takes a lot of courage and honesty to trust your friends, and to give them the comfort they need.
Experts share advice on how to cope with ending a friendship
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